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In all seriousness, animal abuse is very strongly statistically correlated with other violent crimes. Even if you personally don't care about animals or their suffering, I encourage you to take a very close look at anyone you know who has a habit of abusing or neglecting animals - you may be next!

Also, I love the line "holy shit, he has a neck". That's very Max, right there.


(Monday. INT: Big Heart Animal Rescue, EB and JH have FH cups and are looking at cages)

JH: Wow, you weren't kidding about that sheepdog. Look at him go.
EB (rings bell for service): Yeah, this place takes in all kinds of abused animals. And it's a no-kill shelter, so the animals with no chance of being adopted keep piling up.
MH (bandana): Hey- holy shit, he has a neck. What are you guys doing here?
JH: We basically showed up to bug you.
MH: Well, we're actually kinda busy right now. We just got six new kittens who are half starved to death and an abused greyhound that bites anyone who tries to get close to her.
MH: I swear, I'll never understand what kind of sadistic impulse would convince someone to treat a fellow mammal like that.
EB: You know, Jamie made a game where each player is a catlady with a house full of cats, and the cats can die of heartworm, ticks, malnutrition...
MH (happy): Oh, cool! Can you make them fight each other?