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Growing up as a Christian teen, there was a lot of pressure to be "abstinent", whatever that really means. To be quite honest, it wouldn't have mattered - I was incredibly introverted and socially awkward. Up until I was about twenty, I couldn't have gotten laid if I'd had my own car, was the lead singer in a band, and had unlimited access to booze.

Of course, I wound up obsessing about it regardless. Let me tell you, if you want to raise a neurotic teenager, tell them they're not allowed to masturbate. Heck, tell them they're not allowed to lust. You might as well tell them they're not allowed to breathe.

As you might have gathered, by now, I've made my peace with it, more or less.


(Sunday afternoon, INT: EB and JH's apartment)

EB: So, speaking of lawful good, Max told me that you turned her down.
JH: Yeah, she came pretty close to ripping off my damn pants, but I just don't play that way.
JH: Honestly - and I could never say this to her face - I could never be with someone who doesn't take intercourse seriously.
EB: Jamie, it's pretty much all she thinks, does, and talks about. I would say she takes it very seriously indeed.
JH: Well, it's like the difference between a wine taster and the town drunk. They're both focused on alcohol, but one's a gourmet and the other's a glutton.
EB: Fair enough. So you consider yourself a coinnoisseur?
JH: Wow, that's kind of a weird argument for abstinence. "Be a vagina coinnoisseur: Say no to casual sex today!"
EB: Yeah, somehow I doubt they'll be putting that on the recruitment posters.