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I'm not a big fan of personal firearm use.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I don't have an issue with hunting. A personal handgun isn't a hunting weapon. And I don't even think guns should be banned or even really restricted among competent, trained adults. If you feel the need to own a gun and you know what you're doing with it, then I think you should certainly be allowed to have it... but, to me, ownership of a handgun tells me that you've more or less given up on civilization.

You see, while handguns can, in theory, be used for other purposes, they're really designed and intended to shoot other human beings - and, while you certainly can shoot to wound, any responsible firearm user will tell you that you never draw on anything you wouldn't mind seeing dead.

Presuming that you intend to use your firearm legally and ethically, there's really only one situation in which you can whip it out - when deadly force is threatened against you or your loved ones, and you need to respond appropriately, to kill or threaten to kill before you or your loved ones can be killed. When I see someone who owns a personal firearm, the unspoken implication I hear is "I fully expect that dangerous criminals will pose a danger to myself and my loved ones, and I do not believe that local law enforcement is sufficient to keep these threats at bay - the only way I can ensure my safety is to be prepared at all times to end the life of one or more of my fellow human beings".

I do not own a gun for the same reason I do not filter my own drinking water or generate my own electricity - I live in a city, where, for a reasonable price, security, like water or electricity, is provided by trained professionals.


(Thursday morning, INT: police station)

JH: You want me to go out and shoot people?
unnamed police officer: Well, no, obviously, we don't want you to shoot people. But let's face it - the Glock nine is neither a hunting rifle nor a Swiss army knife. It's only used for three things: shooting people, shooting paper targets to prepare for shooting people, and ensuring your own safety... by threatening to shoot people.
JH: Don't I need a license to carry a gun in public?
unnamed police officer: Only for concealed carry. As long as it's visible, you can walk down the street with it.
JH: What, just carry it in my hands?
unnamed police officer: Not in your hands, no, that would be brandishing it. You can carry it in a holster.
JH: Can I carry it in something other than a holster?
unnamed police officer: No.
JH: Can I get a loaner holster?
unnamed police officer: No.
JH: Can I go buy a holster and come back?
unnamed police officer: No.
JH: Wait a minute. I can't leave?
unnamed police officer: And leave a loaded gun unattended on a countertop?
JH (stressed): Hnng.
unnamed police officer: By the way, it's two minutes and thirty-eight seconds until you're officially loitering.
JH: Hnnngk!