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A barren place we passed on our descent,
a circle without sinners or creatures
a place strangely lacking in torment,
empty except for strange devices
rectangular and glowing in their darkness.

And unto Virgil, my guide, I did ask
"What is this place, and why doth it stand
so devoid of the damned and their righteous punishment?"

And the great sage said unto me
"This is the circle of Hell reserved for those
who do text upon their mobile phones at the movie theater."

And I queried unto him, saying "What's a phone?"

And he did respond "Don't worry
about it, Dante, it'll be full soon enough."


(Saturday night, EXT: Gina's car)

NP: Gina... is sex evil? Do you believe sex is inherently evil?
GU: No, of course not. God made sex, and it's morally okay within the confines of marriage.
NP: But not having sex is better than having sex, even in marriage.
GU: Exactly. In much the same way that twenty dollars is more than ten dollars, but they're both a positive amount of money.
NP: So if I meet an asexual and I somehow give them a sex drive and they go get married, have I committed an evil act?
GU: This is not addressed in the text.
NP: Well, there are presumably a lot of things that aren't addressed directly in the text, more so now in the twenty-first century... do you have some revealed-character-of-God way of deriving the rightness or wrongness of new potential sins?
GU: Yeah, you read the Scripture, and you talk with other believers, and you pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide your heart, none of which I am going to do right now, because I'm driving.