Asking which came first - Lily's misandry or her audience - is likely a futile question, like asking whether Jamie's love of cooking preceded his exposure to well-prepared foods, or whether Max's nymphomania preceded her orgasms. Almost all enduring character traits are the result of some sort of ongoing feedback loop.
I suppose one could also argue that being sole creator of a fictional world and idol to an army of fanboys feeds into Lily's sense of authority and superiority, but that's likely also a function of being both an employer and a GM. Lily likes being in control of things - entire universes, if possible. Ellen's being kind of harsh on Lily here, but only because she knows Lily can take it - or, possibly, because she thinks that she has to be this harsh to get Lily to listen to a lone voice of dissent.
Of course, I expect the usual Lily-haters will consider her contempt of her readers to be yet another strike against her, but, given the level of discourse at play, I'd say a degree of contempt is warranted. Certainly, Lily's determination to control the world around her has resulted in paychecks for two of her friends, weekly games for four, and years' worth of free entertainment to thousands... so it can't be all bad, can it?
(Monday afternoon, INT: Overdrive Computers)
EB: Well, Jamie may or may not have uncovered what makes you tick, but I certainly found the experience enlightening.
EB: Like discovering the particle that reconciles gravity and quantum mechanics would be enlightening, yes. Like discovering that Clark Kent is Superman would be enlightening.
LH: Are you going to psychoanalyze me now?
EB: I scarcely think I need to. You create fiction that only people actively looking for porn would ever find, clearly label it so that only straight men would be interested, and set it in a world that only self-hating males would stick around to read about. Intentionally or not, for the past decade you've curated an audience of snivelling yesmen with their dicks in their hands and their lips on your boots.
LH: You forgot the futurism.
EB: Oh, did I? I find it interesting that in all your tales of politics and economics and technological development that you didn't include a single story that doesn't feature at least one graphic description of a chrome-plated deep-dicking.
EB: What's the matter? Don't think your ideas can hold people's interest without the anglerfish-lure of sexuality, or do you just have that much contempt for your readers?
LH: Gonna be honest, it's mostly the contempt.