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This is true, by the way. You can slice avocado, dredge it in whatever, fry it in oil, and it is very close to vegan bacon. It lacks the internal chewiness, but the flavour makes up for it, I think. Also, doing this to an avocado probably nullifies the whole "healthy fats" thing.

0954-------------------------------------
(Tues afternoon, INT: EB and JH's place, EB, JH and MH are all at the table)

JH (holding plates): And here we are: two BLTs and one ALT.
MH (putting down her phone): Asparagus?
JH: Avocado.
MH: Ooh, gimme! Gimme! Give to me! Grant unto Max that which is Max's!
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MH (eating): Hnnf! Hot! Crispy! Why?
JH: Panko and ground cashew. Fried. Used a different pan, don't worry.
MH: Madness! Hot, buttery madness!
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JH: Did it come out okay? You like it?
MH: Lemme put it this way. You two are still sexually monogamous, yes?
EB: "Still"? It's been six days. And yes, we're monogamous.
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MH: Alright. Ellen? I am deputizing you to act on my behalf. Please communicate my opinion about this sandwich directly into your boyfriend's erogenous zones at your earliest convenience.
EB: Was already on the itinerary. The man has done things to this bacon that would make a rabbi convert.