Cherry Popper

I hopped out of the shower and sauntered out into my hotel room without bothering to dry myself off. I dripped into the carpet and admired my wet naked body in the hotel's full-length mirror. Perky little tits with barbells in the nipples, hairless pussy with matching hood piercing, flat belly, perfect round ass, arms, legs, ten fingers, ten toes... all present and accounted for. I struck a few kung fu action poses, then a twisty Escher girl pose, then stuck my tongue out at myself.

I leaned in close and examined my face. No zits, nothing in my teeth, nothing up my nose. My monobrow was well and truly plucked into submission, but I'd have to remember to bleach my hair again soon - my roots were starting to show.

Over my own left shoulder, I could see the makeshift poster I'd taped to the wall, DETRAWHT SEITINIGRIV. It was only Saturday afternoon - around fiveish - and I'd already accumulated six emblems. I had been granted special dispensation vis--vis genital interactions for this convention from my regular lovers, on the condition that I get tested immediately upon coming home and wait for the results of those tests before boinking anyone... which would be torturous, but it was worth it. I was doing real good here, for the fandom and for humanity as a whole.

I wandered back into the bathroom, grabbed a fresh white towel, and rapidly shimmied it over my surface area. A little deodorant on the pits, a little baby powder on the body, gargled a mouthful of the complimentary mouthwash, spit.

I tracked down my Cherry Popper uniform - a modified purple one-piece swimsuit with a decal of a pair of cherries over the boobular region - from the corner of the room I had most recently flung it. I made sure the Velcro in the back was properly fastened before stepping into it and pulling the straps over my shoulders. The secret pockets I'd added around the waist contained two latex gloves, breath spray, two dental dams, a mini-Sharpie, four little packets of lube, emergency mask, $29.55, my room key, and three condoms. I rummaged through the supplies in my nightstand and recharged my cash to $40 and my condom supply to five.

I stood in front of the mirror and did a dramatic sweep of my pink cape as I put it on, then pulled my purple socks all the way up to my knees. Next came the gloves, the boots, and, finally, the mask. I was a bona fide superhero.

Of course, then I had to remember the neon orange lanyard with my con badge, which kinda spoiled the effect a bit, but what are you gonna do?

I cracked open the door and removed the "Do Not Disturb" sign (which I had modified to say "Fortress of Sexitude") from the outside knob. If I recalled the schedule correctly, I still had time to wander around the booths for an hour or so, then there was a panel on female artists in comics that I wanted to attend (if only to counter-heckle), then I was gonna hit the board game room and see if I could get in on some Cards Against Humanity.

Standing in the hotel hallway was a fellow superhero.

I sized him up. Blue mask, blue cape, boots but no gloves. He was blond, blue-eyed, average height and build, looked to be about twenty-one, but that can be surprisingly difficult to gauge when someone's wearing fabric over half of their face. His costume was not as nifty as mine, but it seemed to have a water theme going on. The initials "TW" were emblazoned on his shirt. He seemed nervous.

"Are... are you Cherry Popper?", he asked.

I looked down at the large obvious cherries on my chest, then back up at him. It occurred to me that he would not be able to see the raised eyebrow behind my mask.

"Who wants to know?"

"Uh... I'm K-"

I interrupted him with lightning speed and cunning. "Turd Wrangler?"

"What? Oh, no, no. Tidal Wave."

"A fellow superhuman vigilante? A masked man, a costumed hero? You fight for truth, liberty, justice, et cetera?"

"Uh... yes." Tidal Wave was visibly warming up now. "Yes I do. I protect the residents of Coastal City from monsters and evil-doers."

"Coastal City?"

"I'm in town for the con."

"Right, right, of course. Well, yes, I am indeed Cherry Popper, or Popper, or CP for short. Always a pleasure to meet a fellow warrior for the forces of good!" I stuck out my hand and grabbed his fist in a proper heroic bro clasp. I took the moment to notice that he'd had his hand stamped - so I knew for certain he was at least drinking age, and not an especially tall twelve-year-old. That was convenient, it saved us having to do the driver's-license-with-your-thumb-over-the-name thing.

"I love your costumes!" yelled a passing fanboy. I immediately struck an actiony pose, and TW followed suit. The fanboy shot us a thumbs up but continued on his way to the elevator.

"So! Cherry Popper!"


"I... um... I heard that you... well, I mean, I read a post, online, that you..."


Tidal Wave stammered and looked around the hallway, which was vacant, but still very much a public space. He wasn't blushing - he was evidently not a blusher - but his mouth seemed to be having trouble forming words. I grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Tidal Wave!" I proclaimed, "You are a Hero! A Man of Action!"



Tidal Wave got into character.

"Cherry Popper, thank goodness you're here! I need your help! I am facing a great villain that I cannot defeat on my own!"

"Gasp!", I gasped, "You don't mean..."


"That FIEND!"

"The very fiendishest."

I looked around. "Were you followed?"

"No... I'm here alone."

Slowly, deliberately, I let go of Tidal Wave's shoulders, and, not breaking eye contact, placed the "Fortress of Sexitude" hanger back on the doorknob. I swiped my card to re-open the door, took one step into the room and did the head-jerky thing people sometimes do to indicate "get in here". I waited for Tidal Wave to come through to the bedroom before I closed the door behind us and locked the bolt.

"Tidal Wave... I assume your power is ocean-related?"

"I control water."

"A hydrokinetic! Sexy." He grinned at my five-dollar word. "That include ice and steam?"


"Need line of sight?"


"Ever use your powers to make a bad guy's blood boil and his eyeballs pop out of his head?"

"No. I mean, I could, but I would never do that. I respect life."

"I like that. I respect that. It's very heroic, in a classic patriotism-don't-do-drugs-drink-your-milk sorta way. So what's your favourite sexual position?"

"Oh, uh... I... don't know."

"Good! That one was a trick question. If you'd actually had a favourite position, you wouldn't be a virgin, and I'd be kicking you out. If you were lucky, it'd be through the door." Tidal Wave swallowed and nodded. We were on the twelfth floor.

I kicked off my boots and indicated the chair. Tidal Wave sat.

"Here's the skinny, T-Dub.", I declared, "Virginitor's in my rogues gallery, he's my mortal enemy. I've fought him dozens - maybe hundreds of times. I'm experienced. You, by definition, aren't. So we're gonna join forces to defeat him - a superhero team-up, if you will - but I'm in the driver's seat on this mission, capisce?"

Tidal Wave nodded.

"By the same token, though, if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe with anything I say or do, you can say so and we can stop. It doesn't make you less of a man or less of a superhero. Got it?"

Tidal Wave nodded again.

"Now, as Cherry Popper, I am sworn to have sex with virgins. Ergo, obviously, I can only have sex with you the once. I'm not your wife, I'm not your girlfriend, you're not going to score my digits and call me up for a second go-round, I'm not even going to tell you my name, and I don't want to know yours. Accept that."

Tidal Wave nodded again.

"By the same token, I am not a prostitute and I'm not a Fleshlight in a cape. All acts of physical intimacy..." - I traced my fingertip along his jawline - "...are (or at any rate they should be) a meaningful connection between two people. The anonymity does not detract from that. Understand this truth."

Tidal Wave nodded again.

"You get all that?"

Tidal Wave kept nodding, then vocalized "Yeah."

"Rad. Let's bone."

I leaped into Tidal Wave's lap, straddling him, and cupped his face in my hands as I mashed my lips into his lips and my tongue into his mouth. We kissed for a few seconds. He tasted like cheap pizza and grape soda.

I pulled away from him, frowning. I grabbed his left hand, which was on the chair's armrest, and pulled it around to grab my right buttcheek. I grabbed his right hand, which was on my shoulder, and moved it down to cup my left breast. He gave my boob a gentle squeeze. "Much better." I whispered as I moved back in to continue kissing.

We made out for a few minutes. Tidal Wave was getting into it, leaning forward, pushing his tongue up against mine, squeezing my anatomy through the swimsuit. I could feel his erection through his pants, rubbing against my thigh. I reached down between us to stroke the tented fabric with my hand, and I broke away from kissing long enough to mutter "You want to fuck me with that?" directly into his left ear before sucking on the earlobe.

"Yhnngh. Yess.", he gasped. I moved my mouth down from his ear along the side of his neck.

"Rip my suit off", I instructed. "Rip it right off!"

He hesitated. "It looks like you spent a lot of time on it."

"Oh, I did", I agreed, "But you know why I wear a cape?"

"Because early comic artists used billowing fabric as a simple way to depict dynamic motion, and capes have since become emblematic of the superhero genre as a whole?"

"Yes. But, more specifically, because it helps hide one of my suit's special powers." I wrapped both my hands around the palm Tidal Wave was using to massage my tit, and forced it into a grip on the cherry symbol. "Pull, Tidal Wave!", I yelled, "Pull with all your might!"

Obediently, Tidal Wave tugged the modified swimsuit away from my body, and the Velcro in the back let out a loud ripping sound as it surrendered to his might. In an instant, he was left holding a fistful of dangling violet Spandex, and I was in his lap wearing nothing but mask, cape, gloves, socks, and a smile.

"Tidal Wave, you've just literally ripped a woman's clothes off.", I informed him. "Very manly. Now suck on my titties."

My suit hit the floor with an audible clatter, and Tidal Wave pulled me close and popped my left nipple into his pie hole. I hissed as his tongue found my piercing and began swirling around it.

"Let me guess", he quipped, "Adamantium?"

"Uru, actually."


His tongue did a few more circles around my left nipple, then a few around my right. I could feel his body shifting under me, his pelvis doing that involuntary repositioning thing. My own pelvis was doing some involuntary things of its own, and I was about to leave a wet spot on his pants if we didn't do something about it. I pushed off of Tidal Wave's lap and kneeled in front of the chair. I reached over to my discarded suit and extracted a condom from one of the pockets.

"We're going to start with a blowjob.", I informed him. I bent forward and kissed his penis through the fabric of his pants. "Are you okay with that?"

Tidal Wave nodded vigorously, but I waited until he actually said the words "Yes. Please."

Slowly, I unzipped his pants, and he angled his butt up so that I could pull them down to his ankles. He was wearing grey boxer briefs underneath them - hard cocks always look so good in boxer briefs! I could actually see that a single drop of precum had managed to soak its way through the fabric, and I resisted the temptation to lick it - fluid bonding and all that. Instead, I stroked his shaft lightly, then drew my hands down along his bare thighs for a second before reaching up and pulling down the elastic waistband.

Tidal Wave's cock was a typical six inches, cut, and quite respectably thick. His balls were also within acceptable parameters, and the carpet matched the drapes. There was a hint of what I shall charitably refer to as "musk", but less than I'd expect on a dude who'd been walking around late afternoon at a nerd convention. He must have showered before coming to see me. Gentlemanly!

I kissed at his inner thighs, then his scrotum, then the base of his cock, then I stopped.

"Condom." I said, showing Tidal Wave the jimmy hat I'd palmed. "Mandatory."

Tidal Wave nodded. He'd been nodding a lot, I noticed.

"Pay attention." I ordered. "I know you rolled one onto a banana in sex ed, but-"

"Didn't, actually."

"Oh. Well, then, really pay attention."


I opened the wrapper and showed TW how you can blow into the tip to make sure it's going the right way. Slowly, deliberately, I rolled the condom down over his cock, right down as far as it'd go. "Always leave a space at the tip", I commanded him, indicating the loose floppy bit I had left at his urethra, "That's where your cum's gonna go."

I kissed his inner thigh one more time, then dragged my tongue slowly up his balls, up his latex-covered shaft, up his frenulum, lingered right at the tip for a moment, then dove forward and engulfed the whole phallus in my mouth. Tidal Wave gasped and shuddered and grabbed at my shoulders, and for a second I thought he'd already orgasmed just from the opening act, but evidently he was just especially appreciative.

I began bobbing my head up and down, then slowed down for some tongue action, then back to bobbing. I kept one hand on the base of his cock, and diddled myself with the other. I sometimes get into a Zen trance sort of thing when I'm performing fellatio, and I was in it now. I could have been blowing him for a few seconds, it could have been hours, I really don't know.

All too soon, though, he began tensing up and grunting, and I sped up until I felt his dick start pulsing between my lips, pumping shot after shot of warm cum into the little latex reservoir that was up against the back of my throat. I sat back on my heels and grinned at him.

"That..." he gasped, "That was... I... whoa... thank you."

"No, thank YOU." I responded honestly. Carefully, I removed the condom from Tidal Wave's deflating penis, tied a knot in it, and threw a three pointer at the trash, which missed. Whatever, I'd get it later.

"So!", I segued, "Now that a naked lady has expertly pleasured your phallus via her utterly superlative oral skills, what is the thing that you, the dude, have to do?"

I walked over to the bed and laid down with my ass on the edge of the mattress. I spread my legs and teased my lips a bit. If Tidal Wave knew the answer to my question, he wasn't talking.

"C'mere." I told him, "I'ma teach you how to eat pussy."

Tidal Wave stepped out of his pants and shorts as he got out of the chair and came over to kneel in front of me. "I think I already know how to eat pussy.", he suggested.

"You've never put a condom on a banana, but you know how to perform cunnilingus?"

"Well, I once watched this lesbian porn video where-" I shot him a look that was a few degrees away from burning the mask off my face and his sentence petered out and died.

"Look close." I instructed him, taking his hand in mine and guiding it around my ladybits. "Outer lips, a.k.a. labia majora, roughly the same sensitivity as your ballsack skin. Inner lips, a.k.a. you can probably guess what, roughly the same sensitivity as the shaft. They come up to form the clitoral hood - mine has a piercing, so you've got no excuse not to be able to find it. The clit itself is under there, it's at least twice as sensitive as the head of your penis, so don't ever just go straight for it, and never touch it with anything dry or rough. Fortunately, I'm nice and wet, but you have to be aware of the level of moisture and lubrication at all times, especially if you're going to do this."

On "this", I pushed Tidal Wave's index finger into my body.

"Most ladies," I continued as I slowly and gently used Tidal Wave's hand to fingerfuck myself, "Can take one finger with no problem. Two is normal, three only if she's especially loose or warmed up, and anything wider than that is strictly for special occasions and with explicit prior negotiation. Make sure you keep your hands clean and your fingernails trimmed - a hangnail scraping around in there feels exactly as horrible as you imagine. And here... here is Doctor Grafenberg's infamous spot, only about one or two inches in, forward side. Anybody who tells you you need a big cock to hit the G spot is a fucking liar. Oh, and protip: there's a reason this -" I made the appropriate gesture with my free hand "- means 'come'."

Tidal Wave obliged and began wiggling his fingertip against the appropriate interior surface. In a display of improvization and initiative, he stroked the thumb of his other hand along my labia to get it lubed, then began using it to twiddle my jewelry. I reacted favourably to this, which is to say I spasmed, grit my teeth, clawed at the bedsheets, and made a noise not unlike twelve goats trapped on a rollercoaster.

Fortunately, I regained control in time to shove Tidal Wave's forehead back just before he got his mouth on my hoohah.

"Not so fast, cowboy", I admonished him, "We're not swapping those particular fluids on this excursion. Safety first, dontcha know. Here." I shuffled myself off of his fingers and grabbed a dental dam from the nightstand - it was closer than my supersuit. "This is a dental dam. It's basically a latex rectangle, a condom for those of us with concave genitalia." I scooched back into position and stretched the dam over my bits. I positioned TW's left hand so it held one side against my right thigh, and his right hand so it held the other side against my left thigh.

Without requiring further instruction, Tidal Wave bent forward and began licking at the latex sheet along the length of my lips. I grabbed the back of his head with both hands and directed his tongue's attention to my clit, which he slurped at with the appropriate level of enthusiasm.

I kept his head there and made encouraging noises. Tidal Wave was, evidently, a quick learner, and soon had me thrashing about and vocalizing like... well, like a woman experiencing intense sexual pleasure leading to orgasm, which is what I was.

I came and came hard. I know the French call the orgasm "le petit mort", or "little death", but never was the term less appropriate, as this particular sensation was anything but little, and I had never felt more thoroughly alive. After a few seconds to catch my breath, I peeled Tidal Wave's masked face out of my crotch. If his smile had been any wider, his face would have split in half.

"Ten outta ten, T-Dub.", I told him, "You just made a woman orgasm. How's that feel?"

"It... it feels pretty good, CP."

"Your cock recharged? You ready for the main event?"

"I... yes. Yes, I'm ready."

"What was that?" I cupped a hand around my ear. "I didn't catch that. Are you ready to fuck me?"

"Yes!", he proclaimed, standing in a powerful pose, fists on his hips, erection jutting forward into the air, "Yes, I'm ready! Cherry Popper, I am ready and willing and able to fuck you!"

"That's the spirit! Now get down here!" I grabbed my superhuman paramour by the shirt and yanked him down onto the bed with me. We kissed for a few seconds, then I sprang back up.

"Fresh condom", I declared, "Gotta get a fresh condom."

As I grabbed another condom out of the nightstand, Tidal Wave finally took notice of my poster.

"Virginities Thwarted", he read, "Is that just this con? You've had sex with six different guys in superhero costumes since Friday morning?"

"No, of course not."


"Yeah, one of those was a chick."

"Oh. ... Which one?"

"Not sayin'. But if you see any superheroes walking around with one of those designs on their outfit, feel free to high five'em."

If Tidal Wave felt any reluctance to continue in the face of my rampant and ridiculous promiscuity, he gave no sign of it. I kissed around the base of his penis as I rolled the second condom on, and gave his belatexed wang a few licks before hopping up and straddling him.

"There are a wide variety of positions in which dick-in-vagina intercourse can take place.", I instructed, "But the main three are cowgirl, doggy, and missionary. Of those three, cowgirl is almost always the best place to start, especially if it's your first time."

I reached down and grabbed his cock, guiding it up towards myself. I let the tip rub back and forth on my labia for a few seconds, then slowly sank down and down, millimeter by millimeter, until I was pressed down right onto his thighs and his cock filled me right up. Tidal Wave's face - the parts of it I could see, anyway - was an expression of joy rarely seen outside of the cheeziest of infomercials. I sat there for a moment, savouring the feeling of fullness. I flexed internally, and TW gasped with surprise.

"Kegels.", I defined. "You're lucky I like you. I can crush coal into diamonds with that shit."

Tidal Wave made a sound that would have been a laugh, but the slow grinding motion I was doing seemed to have commandeered control of his respiratory system. Taking this as encouragement, I increased both frequency and amplitude, riding him vigorously and with great zeal.

And then, of course, there was a general lack of snappy dialogue for about five to ten minutes. Y'know, mostly the riding and the gasping and the grasping and the aforementioned amplitude and fullness and pleasurable sensations. Quite enjoyable, all things considered.

I didn't let him cum, though. Not yet.

Breathing hard and shaking slightly, I dismounted, and crawled a few steps forward on my hands and knees. I grabbed my cape and tossed it to one side, exposing my upturned ass.

"Doggy.", I ordered.

Tidal Wave sat up and came around to kneel behind me. I felt one of his hands grab my ass, and the other, evidently, guided his erection back into my pussy where it belonged. I moaned in ecstasy and flumped forward.

"Fuck me!", I yelled into the pillow, "Fuck me hard!"

Tidal Wave complied.

The cheap hotel mattress squeaked loudly as the ex-virgin superhero jackhammered himself into my nether regions. His hands gripped my hips tightly, and I reached up under myself to rub my clit.

"HnnghfffffffyesssssSSSSSssssssSSSSssss" I enunciated.

"Hnk. Fck. Kkk. Hng. Gng.", Tidal Wave replied eloquently.

Just as I was on the brink of my second orgasm, I felt a tugging sensation around my neck. My cape tightened against my trachea, and I realized Tidal Wave had grabbed it and was using the fabric as a grip - which would have been lovely with any other garment, but not so much with a piece of fabric that is solely based on my neck.

"Kck, ttsts, stp, STP!" I pronounced, flailing and slapping backwards at him. Mercifully, he stopped.

"Oh God, Cherry Popper, are you okay?"

"Suit." I gasped, "Tearaway. Cape. Not."

"I'm sorry."

I flopped onto my back and hooked my legs around his body.

"Don't be sorry. Be horny. Be horny and be inside me."

"Can do."

Tidal Wave lowered himself on top of me and slid into the third of the major positions. I wrapped my arms around his head and pulled him into a kiss as he entered my body. He moaned directly into my mouth as his pelvis began gyrating as pelvises do, pumping in and out of me with passionate intensity.

The mattress squeaked louder than ever. I wrapped my legs around Tidal Wave's ass and clutched at his shirt as he continued to thrust into me.

"G'n cm.", he grunted. A less experienced superhero would have misinterpreted it.

"Do't.", I replied, "Do't! Yes I wnchu cm! Nside m' yes yesss YES!"

Tidal Wave's thrusts got faster and faster and I felt myself get closer and closer, when with a final grunt, Tidal Wave spasmed and I felt his cock pulse inside me. I was so close myself that I whimpered and bucked my hips a little underneath him, and, miraculously, that actually worked.

I shuddered and shivered as I came for the second time, with TW's cock still hard inside me. I looked into his blue eyes, then pulled him in for a kiss again, slow and intense and passionate. Our lips remained together until his erection faded and drooped out of me.

Tidal Wave dropped down beside me. I didn't look, but I could hear him remove the condom, tie a knot in it as I had done, and throw it in the general direction of the trash. We embraced.

"This." I said, "Cuddling. Afterwards. Important."


I looked into his eyes.

"Good?", I asked.

"Yes.", he replied. "Very good."

We cuddled for a while, and kissed a few more times. Eventually, I rolled myself off the bed and shook my limbs to restore circulation. I grabbed the pack of markers out of my suitcase and stood in front of my poster.

"Should I write your T W on here, or do you want to do it?"

Tidal Wave had already collected his pants and was zipping them up. "I'll do it."

"Alright. Don't John Hancock that shit, I'm here for another whole day, wanna leave room."

I didn't bother to put my suit back on. I sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Tidal Wave tagged my Bristol Board with his blue logo. I came up behind him as he was finishing, and reached around him to grab his crotch just as he capped the marker.

"You have a superpower." I said, holding his cock and balls in both hands as I embraced him from behind. "And I'm not talking about hydrokinesis. You have a very great power, and, like all powers, it can be used for good or for evil, to bring great pleasure or to bring great pain. I have given you the gift of knowledge, the wisdom of how to use this power. I have done so because I believe you are a hero, not a villain, and that you will use this power for good. Will you do this?"

Tidal Wave slowly brought his hands down over mine, cupping my hands as they cupped his junk.

"I swear", he swore, "henceforth, I shall use the power of my sexuality for good. I shall bring pleasure and connection and love to places and to people where it is needed, and I shall do so safely and responsibly. You have my solemn vow."

"I respect that." I said. I released my hold on TW's superheroic genitals, and he turned to face me. We kissed for one last time.

"Go." I told him. "Go forth, Tidal Wave, and thwart evil wherever it may be found!"

"I shall never forget you, Cherry Popper!", Tidal Wave proclaimed as he walked backwards out of the room. "I thank you for your superheroic service, and I wish you great fortune with your continued battle against Virginitor's devilish machinations. Know that if you should ever require my assistance with a supervillain of your own, Tidal Wave is forever your ally!"

He was halfway out the door when I called out to him one last time.

"Tidal Wave!"


"You're my hero."

He smiled, and he nodded, and then he was gone.

I flopped down onto the bed and sighed. I checked the clock - it was 7:21. By the time I showered again and got dressed, the panel on women in comics would be over. Only I could visit a convention and spend more time in my hotel room than at the actual events.

Such were the sacrifices of superheroism.

I grinned and hugged myself and rolled back and forth for a bit. God damn, I was awesome.

I bounced out of bed and flung myself in the direction of the bathroom, shedding clothing as I went. There was no time to waste! After all, the night was young, the con was full, and I was a superhuman vigilante. Virginitor and his minions would rue this day and rue it hard.

Cherry Popper's adventures were far from over!