I ran a contest in November of 2012, with three possible ways to enter: draw Jaehab, voice-act Ellen's description of her tiefling warlock, or write fanfiction of any sort. This is an example of the third option, from forum user James DoubleU.

Going Down
Version 1.0

By James DoubleU

“Your kung fu is weak, Grasshopper! You have disrespected my master, and now you must face me in glorious battle!”

“Your master has done great wrongs to my house. I do not wish to fight you, but I will if I must!”

“You have no choice! Prepare yourself!”

“So be it! Make your move!”

“Pouncing Leopard style!”

“Kicking Crane style!”

Max rushed forward, going for Jamie’s legs. “I’m taking you down!”

Jamie Dodged backward one-footed. “No Krav Maga!”

“Oak-hand Winepress attack!” Max lunged junkward.

“Down girl!” Jamie backed up to the couch, its arm nearly taking out his legs at the knee.

A well-Aimed shirt nearly slapped him in the face, but he Moved it away with one hand. “Tearduct Wipe Dishtowel Block!”

“Flapping Breeze Tits Attack!” Max vaulted the arm and clung to Jamie’s face as he fell back.

“Uh... Max...”

“D’aww, did I Break you?”


“Did I Beat you?”


“Or does that come later?”


“You want this to happen, Grasshopper. I’m the master. Let me teach you the ways of the warrior.”


“Tick, tick.”

“Show me the ancient secrets, Great One.”

“First, feel your heartbeat and mine. We beat together. Let the drum guide you.”

Max brought her chest Down to Jamie’s.

“First. Tiger Claw.” Max locked her fingers and grabbed Jamie’s shirt, bringing it over his head.

“Now you.” She lifted herself so he could hook onto her pants. “Good. Take them Down.”

“Now Leopard Paw. Softer.” She ran her hands across Jamie’s chest. “Now you. Good. Now stop.” She held his hands on her heart. “Feel me Beating.”

“Now, Crane, let’s see your prize. Mhmmm. Rising Snake.”

“Now Strike! Penetrate the enemy’s defense!”

“Aww yeah, Hit that!”

“Um, Max...”

“Okay, relax. Just Move with me. Keep to this Beat. Ba-bum. Ba-bum.”

“Okay, good. Yeah, that’s it. Nice.”

“Um, Max, I...”

“No! Don’t Break pace! Endure!”

“Sorry, Max, I’m...”

“Down,” She sighed. “Well, at least your Aim was good. I guess we’re done here.”

Jamie set his dice aside.

“Okay, that actually worked out pretty well, my untimely demise notwithstanding.”

“Agreed. Things were nice and fast paced, it definitely had the feel I’m looking for.”

“And it wasn’t too complicated, we both understood what was going on easily enough. I’d go so far as to call it intuitive.”