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Tailsteak

Don't fuck in trees, you guys. At least, not without proper safety gear.

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Good news! I finally got The Paladin's Guide to Life available on Amazon! It's also available on your Kindle, or, if you're already a Patreon patron, you can get the pdf at no additional cost! Of course, I do hope you guys get the physical version - The Paladin's Guide to Life is a daily affirmations coffee table kinda book, it makes a great gift, and I happen to think it looks fantastic. (Also, once I get a significant number of sales, I'm going to start in on book 2 in the series - The Rogue's Guide to Life.)

0891-------------------------------------
(Thursday afternoon, INT: JH and EB's living room)

MH: Ellen and Jamie, sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K...
EB (getting a twenty out of her wallet): We are dating, is what I was going to say. D-A-T. I-N-G.
MH: Mm. Doesn't work so well with the meter.
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MH: A whole lot safer than fucking in a tree, though. Take it from me - that particular Arbour Day tradition is not recommended.
EB (handing over the money): So yeah, we just figured you should be aware that the two of us are... romantically entangled. We are dating now. An item.
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MH: And ya plowed each others' brains out last night. Good on ya, Max approves.
EB: What we did or did not do with each others' brains is strictly private.
MH (holding up the cash): But ya did though. That's what this twenty was for, as I recall - swapping bodily fluids.
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EB: We kissed, yes. Saliva was, at one point, exchanged. Anything beyond that may remain entirely in your personal perverted imagination.
MH (showing EB her phone): Mm. Yeah, that's me, all about the perverted imagination.
MH: So... you always pass out naked next to guys you kiss?




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