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(Thursday. INT: EB's apartment, on the couch)

EB (eating): I still can't believe you made a bread pudding without bread or eggs.
JH: Well, bagels are a form of bread.
EB: And this sauce, my god, this sauce!
JH: You are aware that caramel is just butter and sugar, right?
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EB: Spell tongue.
JH: What?
EB: Tongue, the thing in your head. Spell it.
JH: T-O-N-G-U-E.
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EB: How far is it from here to Paris?
JH: Well, the circumference of the Earth is forty thousand kilometers, so I guess I'd ballpark it at... fifteen thousand?
EB: There's a scorpion the size of a city bus out in the parking lot, you have to fight it to the death, you can take one item from this room.
JH: Can I borrow your car keys?
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EB: Rent's four hundred a month, I get first and last up front, don't leave the toilet seat up.
JH: Whoo!