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You'd be surprised how many otherwise devout Christians have never actually read the whole Bible. If you haven't yet, I highly recommend it.

Granted, there are some dry bits, but you never know when you might come across some little gem tucked away in Ezekiel.


(Monday. INT: apartment, JH is on his laptop, EB is near Pinball, who is rolled into a ball in her presence)

JH (staring at laptop): Okay, so Rachel died in childbirth, and as she was dying, she asked that her son be named Ben-Oni, son of my suffering. Jacob denied her last wishes, though, and named his son Ben-Jamin instead.
JH: So, in some alternate universe, my name might be... Oni.
JH: Oni... that's the Japanese word for demon.
EB: No, no, I've read enough manga to know that Oni means "older brother".
JH: Huh. And suddenly, a lot of Japanese culture makes sense.
EB: So why the hell don't you know this stuff already? I thought you had a crazy religious upbringing.
JH: Well, I knew about Jacob and Joseph and Benjamin, obviously, but I guess there's a big difference between being taught Bible stories and being taught the Bible.
EB: Ooh, you know what it's time for?
JH: What is it time for?
EB: It's time for a Satanist Bible lesson!
JH: Uh... what?