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My apologies to those readers who are not familiar with 3.5 Dungeons and Dragons, the language in which Max and Ellen are conversing. Essentially, Ellen is just finding another way to say "it was an accident".

My friends and I frequently converse thusly - if not in D&D terms, then in movie terms or comic terms or book terms, applying metatextual analysis to our own lives. As many of you are aware, I am meta as fuck. That's just how I roll, conceptually.

It should be noted that I have no intention of having the Leftover Soup characters engage in true metatextual introspection, i.e., they will not break the fourth wall and recognize that they are in a webcomic. I like to think I've already said everything I needed to say about that particular condition.


(Tuesday. INT: EB and JH's apartment)

EB: Okay, if you'll recall, Jamie was the one who wanted to adopt something. I'm not a pet person. You know this.
MH: I'd say "not a pet person" hardly covers it!
EB: Okay, let's put it like this: I have no ranks in Handle Animal. My charisma is at most a ten, so I'm at a plus zero for the check.
EB: The big GM in the sky made me roll once per hour, and one of those came up a one. This is what a one on a Handle Animal check looks like.
MH: I think you're selling yourself short on charisma. Your personality can be pretty forceful.
EB: Fine then, I have a twelve charisma, but the GM imposed a negative two on the check because it was an unusual animal. So we're looking at a zero, and it's apparently a DC 1 not to accidentally kill something.
TH: You getting any of this?
JH: Sadly, yes.
EB: Can we at least agree that my alignment hasn't changed?