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(Thursday. INT: In a car, EB is driving, JH is in the passenger seat)

EB: So here I am, driving to a cheap motel with a strange man I just met an hour ago. My life certainly has taken a turn for the skeezy.
JH: I apologize for my inadvertent skeeziness.
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EB: Well, if there's room in the car once we've obtained your worldly possessions, you can pay for groceries, too. I was actually on my way to do that when my phone reminded me of the interview, so I turned around. So really, it's your fault the kitchen was empty.
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JH: I've been thinking - if I do turn out to be a bad roommate and you kick me out within the first month, would you have to give me four hundred dollars back?
EB: Huh?
JH: Well, I gave you eight hundred for first and last month's, but if I'm only there for one month, you'd be double-charging me.
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EB: I don't think it works like that.
JH: Why wouldn't it?
EB: Because I said so.
JH: Good to know.