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(Thursday, INT: Wilson Custom Alterations)

EB: Alright, there were some weird port and NAT settings in your router that you really didn't need, so I cleared them, and I took the liberty of putting some security on the wireless to keep unwanted intruders out of your network. So, in future, if you want to add any new computers, the WPA key is "WilsonAlterations".
MW: Oh, if I need to add a new computer, I'll just call you up again.
EB: That works too.
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EB: The computer itself is fine, but I'm still seeing the latency, so I'm going to have to call up your ISP. Do you know who your provider is?
MW: Microsoft. Or Dell, whichever.
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EB: No, I mean who do you write checks to every month for your Internet access?
MW: Oh, I don't write any checks for Internet. It came with the computer.
EB: Okay, you have a Linksys wireless router. I was just configuring it. It's a little blue box with flashing lights on it. Can you show me where that's plugged in?
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MW: I don't have anything that looks like that. Should I?
EB (facepalming): ...I think I'm going to have to go apologize to your neighbours.