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I love going to liquor stores, even though I very rarely drink. I just like looking at all the thousands of permutations and origins and subcultures and designs devoted to a single chemical.


(Wednesday, INT: liquor store)

MH: Okay, here we are. Get some bottles of whatever, I'm covering it.
JH: Seriously?
MH: Seriously. Go, shop, it's on me. Try to keep it under a hundred bucks.
JH: Wow, thanks.
EB: I'm kinda surprised you don't feel obligated to keep our kitchen stocked with booze. Don't we currently have five different kinds of butter?
JH: Actually, of all the various different restaurant jobs I've had, I've never tended bar. I've absorbed some mixology knowledge via osmosis, but it's... mixing drinks just isn't something I do very often.
JH (selecting bottles): It has nothing to do with the alcohol itself, really. I have no qualms about healthy adults choosing to drink responsibly and in moderation.
JH: I think it's more of a social thing. When I'm a cook, I can stay in the kitchen and hide behind the waitstaff. As a bartender, you're expected to make drinks in full view of the person about to drink them. It's half beverage preparation, half performance art.
EB: And you don't think you'd function well under that kind of scrutiny?
JH (shuddering): Ugh, no thank you. Give me nice safe knives, fire, and acid any day.