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In case you're wondering, Rule Number One is "Reboot it, dumbass".

Rule One A is "If rebooting fixed the problem and it doesn't come back, you didn't really have a problem".

Rule One B is "If I actually had to tell you to reboot, regardless of whether you had a real problem or not, I'm still charging you for my time".

0269-------------------------------------

(Thursday afternoon, INT: Overdrive Computers, back room)

LH: Seriously? Are you shitting me?
EB: I never intentionally released anything into the wild. It was proof of concept.
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EB: It wasn't anything particularly sophisticated. Just some script kiddie cut and paste bullshit.
LH: What is Rule Number Two of Computer Repair, Ellen? What is it?
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EB: "No, a 'virus' didn't download all of that porn."
LH: Are you telling me you invalidated Rule Number Two?
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EB: Well, in my case, it was a virus that would download the results of an unfiltered Google Image Search, then erase all traces of itself, and it would only work on a Windows 98 machine that had never been patched.
LH: And did you write it while sitting in an unmarked van?