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Some people are weirded out or grossed out by BDSM, and I get that. I really do. It's a weird, gross thing to do! You don't want to watch some dude get tied up and flogged? I get that. I don't like mustard on my hot dogs. We all have things we don't like. I understand that completely.

Some people, though, are irrationally afraid of BDSM, and that shit is just ignorant. People are afraid of things that they don't know about and don't understand, but I promise you, dominatrices are not going to spring out from behind a bush somewhere and start kicking you in the face. It is not going to happen. You can chill.

There are people in the world who enjoy fantasizing and playing with pain and dominance and submission and bondage and there are people who will jump out of bushes and kick you in the face, and, I promise you, they are not the same people. I'm not saying assault doesn't occur in the kink community, but, if anything, kinksters tend to be even more conscious and conscientious about consent and limits than vanilla folk.

BDSM is fascinating to me, it really is. How can you not be just intrigued by this shit? I mean, you've got power issues, you've got questions about the nature of consent, you've got roleplaying and safewords and humiliation and that's all before anybody even sees each other! And they have all kinds of cool accessories too, badass stuff with names like "anal hook", or "monoglove", or "spreader bar", or "St. Andrew's cross".

I'm jealous. I really am.


(Thursday afternoon, INT: WW and SW's apartment)

JH (uncertain): So... nipple clamps?
SW: What about'em?
JH: It's just... I don't know, I didn't picture... I mean I don't know about nipple clamps.
SW: They clamp nipples. I really don't know what else you want me to say, here.
WW: Simon is heavily into BDSM. If you have an actual question about that, and you're capable of phrasing it as a question, we'd love to answer it.
JH: I... um... okay. Why?
SW: Why not? I've got wires crossed in my head, and I get my jollies from pain. I'm into it, I'm good at it, I stay safe, I've experienced intense sensations that most people never will - I'm a sub and I'm damn proud of it.
JH: It's just... I guess you don't fit the mental model I have of the submissive BDSM gimp guy. You seem really assertive in casual conversation.
WW: Ooh, I think we have just seen the rare triple backhanded compliment!
SW: Indeed we have! Thank you very much, Jamie.
JH: Okay, I think I understand this even less than I thought I did.