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You know, I never actually watched Three's Company. It's just one of those floating pieces of cultural detritus that's accumulated in my vocabulary. Had to look it up on Wikipedia, just to be sure I was thinking of the right show.

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(Thursday. INT: Still outside EB's apartment, EB is slowly sliding her way through her door without actually opening it.)

EB: Look, I don't know what to tell you. The Craigslist posting specifically asked for a female roommate.
JH: Yeah, well, I'm kinda desperate. I was hoping that bit was optional.
EB: Yeah, well, it's not. Good bye.
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JH: Oh, come on, Ellen, just give me a chance, please! My old landlord was a methhead, he got our building condemned, I don't have anyone I can crash with, I've been living in motels and out of my car, and my car just got totalled!
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EB: Your sob story, while evocative, does not render you female.
JH: Would it help if I told you I was gay?
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EB: I loved Three's Company as much as the next girl, but you couldn't pass for homo if you were wearing a t-shirt that said "I heart penis".
JH: Great, you mind going back in time and telling my ninth grade gym class that?