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The following is based on a real conversation that I had with my wife, Amber.


Me: If our lives - us and our friends, how we are here, in reality - if we were part of some work of fiction, like a sitcom or a comic or something...
Amber: ...yeah?
Me: If that work of fiction had a fanbase, and they wrote fanfiction of us, who among our friends would be the preferred 'ships? Who would the fandom's OTP be?
Amber: *thinks for a moment* Me and Robert Downey Junior.
Me: I - wh - Robert Downey Junior? Like... like just the actor, Robert Downey Junior?
Amber: Yes.
Me: He isn't in this series!
Amber: Well, maybe he should be!


(Saturday morning, INT: MH's apartment)

MH: Seriously, what's it like between you two kids? Is she starting to come out of her shell when you're alone? Is she making comments about how handsome and strong you are? Does she hang around the apartment in her underwear, but, like, in a sexy kinda way?
JH: It's... no. It's really not like that at all.
MH: So seriously, what? Is there any chemistry at all? Are you attracted to her?
JH: Well, of course, I'm attracted to her on some level. She's attractive. She's objectively attractive. But no, I wouldn't say we have any romantic chemistry.
MH: Why not? What's missing? What needs to be added to the mix to make this work?
JH: Are you matchmaking? You're matchmaking us?
MH: The term is "shipping". And yes. Yes I am.