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I have been blessed, in my life, to know people across the sexual spectrum. I have friends who are virgins, I have friends who practice traditional monogamy, and I have friends who are in open relationships.

Much like sexual jealousy, the impulse to slut-shame has always been, for me, entirely alien.

I mean, I understand it in theory. In terms of human psychology (both individually and en masse), one can easily see root causes to the compulsion. And certainly, if a person is being irresponsible in regards to disease transmission or pregnancy, or if they're enticing people to cheat on their monogamous relationships, or if they're using deceit or emotional manipulation to manipulate others into sex, or if they show signs of sex addiction, or if they're using sex offensively... sure, in all those cases, I'd feel compelled to finger-wag.

But trying to make someone feel bad purely because they're having more sex than me? That's just weird. I mean, they're having more sex than I am! They're winning.


(Sunday morning, INT: EB and JH's apartment, eating omelettes)

JH: So how did you two get so close originally anyway?
EB: High school. She was basically the only person who remained friends with me both going into and coming out of my goth phase, and I was the only person who remained friends with her while she... while she found herself.
EB: Just a heads up, by the way, try not to use the S-word around her. She got called "slut" a lot, usually as a precursor to being called worse things, or, in some cases, actually having the shit kicked out of her.
JH: Yikes. High school, huh?
EB: Yeah. People who say it was the best years of their life can all eat my ass.
JH: I imagine there were a lot of insecure girls worrying Max was going to sleep with their boyfriends and give them all the same strain of chlamydia or something.
EB: Actually, no. Believe it or not, I started dating boys before she did. It was the vegetarianism that came first, she didn't add "nympho-" to her list of manias until senior year.
JH: Wait, how the hell does being a vegetarian make you a "slut"?
EB: Search me. I'm still trying to figure out how wearing glasses makes me a "lesbian".