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I really don't know how useful having the SHU in the menu would be, but I wouldn't mind the info.

And yes, Ellen turned her shirt inside-out and backwards before coming to the restaurant. I guess she figured that "I read your email" was too informal for a swanky joint like this, but a plain black T-shirt would be fine. Such is drunk logic.


(Friday. INT: Capsaicin Lounge dining area. EB and MH are in a booth, Tim McClusky is their waiter)

TM: Hi! Welcome to the Capsaicin Lounge, my name is Tim, I'll be your server today. Have you eaten with us before?
MH: I've eaten your MOM before.
TM: Okay!
TM: Well, capsaicin, if you didn't know, is the chemical in peppers that makes food hot. Pretty much everything here at the Lounge has capsaicin in it except for the water and the bread - and we keep those coming, don't you worry.
TM: As you can see, everything in the menu, even the drinks and the desserts, has a rating in SHU, that's Scoville Heat Units. Water is zero, and biting into a straight jalapeņo is three thousand. Our average dish is about five hundred. Do you have any questions?
EB: Yeah, could you - could you tell the cook that Nigerian princes need to make more than thirteen dollars?
TM: I'll just take this drinks menu with me, shall I?