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(Friday. INT: apartment, Jamie is coming home at the end of the day, Max is tending to Ellen's passed out body.)

JH: Oh, good, you made it back okay.
MH: Yeah, thanks for making sure we got a cab. That was really nice of you.
JH: It was the least I could do.
MH: No, really. I don't know you at all yet, but I can tell you're a really great guy.
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MH: And here's the deal, see? I know Ellen has this whole thing with you where you two can't ever possibly develop any sort of romantic thing for each other, but I know human nature. And with you two being single and living together, coital entanglement is a quantum inevitability. It's as good as already happened.
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MH: Now, me, I chug dong like it's methadone. That's just how I roll. But Ellen is a monogamuggle. She actually experiences the human emotions of betrayal and jealousy that are so foreign to my people.
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MH: And I just want to say that if you hurt her I will yank your nuts all of the way off and cram them down your throat. Capisce?
JH: Understood.