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It's always weird to me when people - usually horny teenagers, of course - try to find loopholes in sexual morality, while still claiming to hold true to that sexual morality. Yes, oral is sex. Yes, anal is sex. Get over yourself and just fuck already.

In general, if someone is trying to find loopholes in a system, it's because they don't actually want to do what the system is set up to accomplish. Before going to your rabbi, priest, imam, or e-meter-reader to find out what you can technically get away with by the letter of the law, perhaps take some time to figure out what you think the spirit of the law is.

You want my advice? Don't have sex with someone unless you'd be okay with winding up in a long-term relationship with them, and don't get into a long term relationship with someone unless you'd still want to be in that relationship if the sex wasn't there. Basically, have at least one reason other than banging someone for banging someone.

(Thursday evening, INT: Overdrive Computers, back room)

GU: Y'know, it's not that I object to sex acts in general, even the weird stuff, like... like butt stuff. I guess what grosses me out is the... well, the lack of depth in the relationship. To me, relationship depth would be a prerequisite, before the pants came off.
LH: I thought the marriage ceremony was your be-all-end-all.
GU: Oh, sure, I still think sex outside of wedlock is wrong. But I think it's more about permanence, the ring on the finger is just a symbol of that.
GU: I saw a thing about prostitutes in certain Islamic countries, how they'd have a quickie "marriage", do the deed, and then divorce, so it wouldn't count as a sin. That's... that's cheating. That's obviously trying to cheat the system. God's not that stupid.
GU: So yeah, depth is important. If and when I do... unite with a man, it'll be because we have a RAID relationship.
MH: I was going to say something about how my relationships have plenty of "depth", but I'm being a good girl right now, so I won't.
EB: It still counts if you put it in someone's head.
MH: Yes, I agree, that's another stupid loophole. Oral sex counts as a sex act.
GU: It's always weird when I find myself agreeing with you.