Leftover Soup




	For those of you who may not have played D&D 3.5, allow me to translate: LH: Welcome to Hammerschmidt's, my name is Lily, I'll be your waitress for this afternoon. Can I start you off with some drinks? EB: Hi, yeah, your lunch menu here says it's for "eleven to three" and your dinner menu says it's for "three to ten". Since it's exactly three o'clock right now, I can order off of both menus interchangeably, right? LH: Wh- why do you have those? EB: I printed them off your restaurant's website before coming here. You do honour the deals advertised on your website, right? LH: Of course. EB: So, if you're not practicing false advertising, I can order from both menus, yes? LH: Uh... yes. EB: Excellent. Now, the soup and salad deal here in the lunch menu says I can order the soup of the day and a salad or any appetizer for $3.99. Is that right? LH: Yes. EB: And the "unlimited appetizer sampler platter" here on the dinner menu is under the appetizer section. LH: But that's a dinner appetizer. EB: It doesn't say "soup of the day and lunch appetizer". It says "soup of the day and any appetizer". LH: Okay... EB: Now, the asterisk on the lunch menu here says that I get a free "bottomless" drink with any order worth more than ten dollars. LH: Yes. EB: And, although I'm only paying $3.99 for it, the unlimited appetizer sampler platter is listed as being worth $12.99, so I'd get a drink with it as well, yes? LH: Um... that doesn't sound... EB: Unless you're practicing false advertising, of course. LH: No, no, of course we aren't. EB: And, although the asterisk in question is under the juice-and-cola section here in the lunch menu, it doesn't actually specify what drinks are bottomless, so I can get a margarita, right? LH: I... think so? EB: Excellent. Now, on to desserts...

0072------------------------------------- (Saturday. INT: EB and JH's apartment, LH, EB, NP and GU are around the gaming table, MH noticeably missing.) LH: Alright... the ettercap is surprised. Milendra, you're at the top of the inish. EB: Awesome. I ride straight for him, leap off my horse over his head to the opposite square as part of my move action... 41 on the jump check. LH: You make it. --------------- (Game vision: Milendra eviscerating an ettercap) EB: Okay, with the bonus from charging and flanking with my mount, that's a 32 to hit his flatfooted AC. LH: You hit. EB: Okay, my katana crits on a fifteen... and confirms... with sudden strike and smite, that's 80 damage. Second attack... is a 33... and also confirms... 82 damage. --------------- EB: My mount gets his attacks... right hoof 24... LH: Hits. EB: Left hoof also hits, then... and the bite... that's 25, 27, and 30 damage. Can he make a 47 reflex? LH: Not even on a twenty. --------------- (INT: back to the apartment) EB: Then he also takes 64 points of force damage from my contingency spell, and will take it again for the next five rounds. LH: You are aware that you're level twelve, right? EB: Oh, thanks for reminding me. The elementals move on my turn...