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(Monday afternoon, INT: Capsaicin Lounge kitchen)

ChA: Hey, Jamie, I'm apparently going to some place called Hydra-bad tonight. Some curry restaurant downtown. You know it?
JH: Ah, Hyderabad Junction, yes, I know of it. And I can tell you what's best to order there if you tell me about-
ChA: Ugh, never mind.
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JH: Wait, wait, no, sorry, cashew biryani and faluda. Just... I just need to know about citizen's arrests. What can you tell me about them?
ChA: Mm. Well, I don't know all the paperwork and regulations, and I've only ever seen one done, but I can tell you step by step how that one went.
JH: Oh, okay, yes, yes, thank you.
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ChA: Alright, step one: you're gonna want to take some glue or industrial solvent, put it in a bag, and hold that bag up to your face.
JH: Can do.
ChA: Step two: Inhale deeply. Step three: repeat steps one and two for about twenty years.
JH: Uh...
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ChA: Step four: develop an elaborate conspiracy theory wherein your mail carrier is spying on you.
JH: Y'know what, I think I got it, thanks.
ChA: You sure? There's a lot more steps.
JH: I'm sure.
ChA: Step sixteen involves biting me.
JH: We're good here, thanks.