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Fun fact #1: I actually wrote this storyline - or some version of it, anyway - years ago. In the intervening time period, Max has been reimagined by others as an anonymous vigilante not once, but twice, once for the cause of animal rights as the Animal Avenger (in the radio play Sleuth!), and once for the cause of sexual gratification as Cherry Popper (that was a commission I did, it's in the gallery, obviously NSFW). Neither is especially canonical, of course, but both are pretty much in character.

Fun fact #2: Did you know Aquaman had a truck for a while? It's true. He had a truck full of water that he drove around in, and there were swordfish and anglerfish and such in there, and he used them as swords and flashlights, respectively, despite the fact that they would be worse at those jobs, objectively, than actual swords and flashlights.

I'm sorry, but Aquaman is the King of the Sea. He has unquestioned inherent dominion over three quarters of the Earth's surface. He commands - not "talks to", you don't have a conversation with a brine shrimp - he COMMANDS MOST of the animal life on the planet. He has an entire underwater kingdom full of subjects for which he is responsible. If something falls from space and lands in a random spot, odds are good it's his problem. If something burrows up from the core and emerges in a random spot, odds are good it's his problem. If a human ship hauling anything weird has any sort of problem in open water, it's his problem.

If you feel the need to give that character a fucking truck so that he can drive around downtown Chicago and thwart bank robbers and purse snatchers, you are a bad storyteller, and, I dare say, a bad person. Aquaman isn't boring. You're boring.

Fun fact #3: Whenever someone is brought low by their own hubris, the phrase my friends and I typically use is that they've "got a case of the hubes". It's fun to say.

0830-------------------------------------
(Tuesday afternoon, INT: EB and JH's living room)

JH: I don't know that talking to crickets would be all that useful in the fight for justice.
MH: I don't see why all superheroes have to fight for justice, specifically. I mean, if you've got superpowers and you choose to use them anonymously, it doesn't follow that the only two things you're going to do are either rob banks or stop bank robberies.
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EB: Oh God, let me just cut to the chase, here, I see where this is going. You're the Purple Pity-Fucker, you run around town "rescuing" people from the peril of not having intercourse with you. Let me tell you right now, that fantasy is not appealing to anybody but you, okay?
EB: Not to mention the fact that the only kind of person who would consent to anonymous sex like that is going to be someone who is either dangerous or stupid, probably both, and certainly not anyone who deserves your attention, or whose life would actually be improved by it.
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MH: Actually, I was gonna go in the direction of animal welfare. Using cover of anonymity to rescue pets from abusive owners, cattle from negligent factory farms, shut down puppy mills...
EB: Oh. That... that actually makes more sense.
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MH: BUT GOLLY I'M JUST SUCH A ONE-DIMENSIONAL PERSON, I GUESS WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT ANONYMOUS FUCKIN' NOW.
EB: Curses! Brought down by my own hubris!
JH: Yeah, that tends to happen when you tangle with a superhero.