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Okay, time for a controversial opinion about Superman. Ready? Here we go:

A haiku is not merely an art form - it is a puzzle. It is a challenge to fit what you're trying to say into 5-7-5 as elegantly and naturally as possible. If you write a poem that's 5-7-6, you have not created an ultrahaiku. You have not challenged a stodgy tradition in a bold and innovative way because you're a rebel. You have failed at writing a haiku. Your poem may be beautiful and moving and a wonderful work of art, but it is a nonhaiku, and if you include it in a book with "HAIKU" on the cover, that cover is false advertising.

If you write a story about an alien superhero who - despite having near-infinite godlike powers - is placed into a situation in which he has no choice but to take a human life and then feel really really bad about it, you have failed at writing a Superman story. You aren't a bold and creative rebel who's defying tradition to show a world that's dark and gritty because that's what real life is really like. You are a failed writer who has failed to write a Superman story and your comic with Superman on the cover is false advertising.

Superman has effectively infinite strength and speed, so showing him fistfighting a robot or throwing a mountain into space is boring. Having him lose his powers and struggle to get them back is stupid. That's why they've never made a decent Superman video game - they've all been action adventures.

A Superman story shouldn't be an action adventure - let Batman and the other mortals have those. A Superman story should be a puzzle. Watching Superman thwart evil - without taking a human life or committing a crime or even telling a lie - should be like watching a man use a backhoe to repair a pocketwatch.

(Tuesday afternoon, INT: EB and JH's living room)

MH: "Purple Pity-Fucker" is a terrible name for a wide variety of reasons, anyway. Does Superman rescue people from burning buildings because he pities them?
JH: Well, compassion for someone in trouble, someone less powerful than you... is that not pity?
EB: I think "pity" implies a lack of respect. Superman always respects the people he rescues. He's altruistic.
MH: Ooh, the Amethyst Altruist! It's alliterative, and it rhymes!
JH: I think you'd have to be sparklier to be an Amethyst anything.
EB: Besides, you're not purely altruistic. Presumably, you would also take pleasure from your exploits.
MH: What, and Superman can't enjoy saving people? It's only altruism if you're miserable?
JH: I freely admit, I've never read a Superman comic, but I'm fairly certain he isn't super-jizzing everywhere when he rescues people.
EB: Well, as gross as that mental image is, at least his flight would start obeying Newton's Third Law...