I spend a lot of time on Twitter. I mean, I spend a loooot of time on Twitter, which is surprising to anyone who notices that I only actually follow two people.

I use Twitter all wrong.

I read a lot of Weird Twitter. Weird Twitter is a loose society of comedians and performance artists, ranging from the saccharine to the formulaic to the inspired to the deranged. They have their own weird culture, characterized by in-jokes and insecurity and in-breeding and irony (their definition of which would make Alanis look like the Oxford Unabridged).

And, of course, I'm aware that saying "I'm really into Weird Twitter" is kind of like saying "I'm really into Rastafarianism" or "I just joined this neat Fight Club". There's nothing Weird Tweeters hate more than any attempt to define and delineate their subculture as a subculture.

Anyway, one of the most enduring and repeating joke formats in Weird Twitter is the "what idiot" tweet. I believe the first one - at least, the most influential one - is @nice_mustard's "what idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles", which isn't even really a pun. Well, screw it, I'm repurposing the joke format as a party game. Or, at least, a "waiting for Nicole" game. Been a while since I've given you guys a game to play.