First Comic Previous Comic Random Comic Next Comic Current Comic
First Comic Previous Comic Random Comic Next Comic Current Comic

"Boyfriend" and "girlfriend" are weirdass words with weirdass implications (both the total words and their components), which is reason #81,462 why English is a lousy language in need of improvement.

Of course, a set of truly accurate terms for all forms of relationship would delve into the sort of specificity that would prevent us from using single nouns (unless we're speaking in German, I suppose), and that would make conversation difficult. I guess ideally, you'd have a series of scales from one to ten, denoting things like respect, enjoying each other's company, willingness to sacrifice on their behalf, romantic feelings, sexual feelings, committment, exclusivity... and you'd have to have different terms for either side of the relationship, since one assumes this would not be perfectly symmetrical. You'd also have to update your stats periodically, I suppose, hand them out to people on an index card if they ask.

Or hey, maybe just set up a smartphone app for it. An app where you can micromanage your feelings towards every other person in your life, updating it on the fly and redefining your relationships as you feel more or less affectionate.


...maybe "boyfriend" isn't so bad.

(Wednesday night, INT, EB and JH's apartment, on the couch.)

[JH and EB are making out, now clearly both into it.]
EB (pulling back): I... okay. Okay. Maybe we should... talk.
JH: Yes. Yes, talking is good.
EB: So what... what are we?
JH: Y'know what, in the spirit of doing something and not apologizing for it, I'm gonna skip straight to using the B word.
EB: B word?
JH: I'm your boyfriend. Which makes you my girlfriend.
EB: Mmmmight be a bit early for that. Maybe we're... dating? Seeing each other?
JH: You wanna do dinner and a movie, we can do dinner and a movie.
EB: Sure, you know what, we can do that tomorrow. Dinner and a movie. Traditional. Take it slow.
JH: Which means we should... probably go to bed now.
EB: Yes. The correct sequence of events would be additional kissing -if any- after dinner and a movie. JH: That would be normal, yes. No more smooching tonight.
EB: Right. No more touching each other.
JH: Right.