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Studies have shown [note to self- Google something authoritative and link it here] that abstinence-only education and purity pledges not only have no effect on whether or not teens and young adults are doin' it, but also increase the rate of unsafe sex - which, obviously, increases the rate of STIs and unintended pregnancies.

And, of course, that makes sense. I'd argue that education isn't the issue - even if you know all about condoms, if you're not expecting or intending to have sex, you're not gonna carry one on you. And even if you are about to have sex, you may be thinking of it as the exception. You're not the sort of person who would normally ever have sex, it's not like you're promiscuous or anything, but this situation is special.

The thing about life - especially the romantic and/or boning-related parts of life - is that it's full of special situations. I don't think I've ever known someone who wasn't special in some way. You have to plan for and account for special. [note to self- rephrase this paragraph so it sounds less like something out of Doctor Who]

So yeah, y'know what? Even if you don't think you're going to have sex with another human being any time soon, maybe it still behooves you to know something about the process [note to self - Google at least one sex ed comic other than Erika Moen, everyone already knows about Oh Joy Sex Toy]. And hey, maybe you don't plan on being in a medical emergency either, but it might be good to learn first aid [note to self- Google something about first aid] Maybe you don't plan on doing anything athletic, but it might be good to get an exercise routine going. [note to self- Google something about exercising]

[note to self- be sure to take care of all the notes to self before this comment goes live - it'd be ironic if I wasn't prepared!]

0894-------------------------------------
(Thursday afternoon, INT: JH and EB's living room)

MH (arms over EB and JH's shoulders): Seriously, though, you guys know how deliriously happy I am that you got together?
JH: Yeah, you're happy we're boinking.
MH: Not just that! But yes, boinking is rad.
MH: Y'know, I'm surprised you didn't come knocking at my door at one in the morning, asking for emergency condoms. I guess at least one of you must have been optimistic and prepared, huh?
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[silence]
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MH (over the top): OH MY GOD AM I THE RESPONSIBLE ONE HERE?
EB: Well, it's not like we-
MH: OH MY GOD I AM.
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MH (spasming theatrically on the floor): OH GOD, THE RESPONSIBILITY! THE ADULTNESS! IT BURNS!
EB: Max-
MH: I KNOW WHAT A FOUR-OH-ONE-KAY IS AND I'M ADEQUATELY INSURED NOOOOO!