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(Thursday. INT: scene alternates between JH in the kitchen and EB at the computer)

EB: You know, this is probably a terrible idea. Letting some strange man make food for me.
JH: What, you think I normally come to roommate interviews with roofies or poison on me?
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EB: I don't know. You might.
JH: Would it help if I reiterated my promise not to rape you?
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EB: See, you'd think it would, but no. No, it's just creepy that you feel you have to say that. You really shouldn't say that shit.
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JH: Fine, then, I DON'T promise not to rape you.
EB: That's not better!