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I guess I should clarify - Jamie and Ellen being just catastrophically bad at fucking is hilarious to me, but I'm not going to have them get permanently injured or anything like that. Jamie just got a little off-camera scrape and Ellen has some bruises. They're fine.

Which, really, is an extension of the overall ethos of Leftover Soup. There can be giant off-camera tragedies that drive the plot forward, but I don't want to wallow in grief or pain or gore. I do understand the requirement for writers to torture their beloved characters, but I'm more of an "orange you glad I didn't say banana" torturer than a "cut off your fingers one by one" torturer.

But yeah - don't be like Jamie and Ellen, kids. Take the masks off if you can't see or breathe properly. Make sure you're positioned comfortably on a stable surface. Know your limits and stick to them. Most of all, wear a damn condom.

(Saturday evening, INT: EB's bedroom. The chair and computer are tipped over onto the floor, JH and EB are sprawled in unnatural positions)

EB: Nnnnngh.
JH: Owwwwww.
EB (raising one hand): Peripheral vision. Peripheral vision is a thing.
JH: Well... at least I definitely didn't cum inside you this time.
EB: Oh God, is that your blood or mine?