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I don't think I've ever mentioned it before, but sharp-eyed readers may have noticed that Jamie and Ellen's apartment is number 304 and Max's is number 504. That's why they have the same floorplan - they have the same apartment, two floors apart.

(In between them, of course - error, neighbour not found. Ha ha.)

I've never been an especially modest person, and I do think I wouldn't have a problem with doing the deed while immediately adjacent to a close friend. At least, that's what my Inner Max thinks. She is, of course, overruled by my Inner Jamie and my Inner Ellen... not to mention all the actual other human beings who would be involved in the equation.

I guess I'll just have to sate my desires to both express and bear witness to people's sexualities by participating in SEXY SELF COMICS DAY, a day to make and read AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL COMICS ABOUT SEXUALITY which is every year on MARCH FIRST and which you can learn more about by going to SEXYSELFCOMICSDAY.COM which you can access conveniently by CLICKING ANYWHERE ON THIS LARGE RUN-ON SENTENCE RIGHT HERE.

(Tues afternoon, INT: EB and JH's place, EB, JH and MH are all at the table)

MH: Ah, it would appear that this delectable morsel is actually waiting for me upstairs!
EB: Convenient home delivery.
MH: Indeed. Unless you'd rather I ask him to pop down here.
JH: So we can do another round of Polymono with four players?
MH: I was thinking of... other activities.
EB: Of course you were.
MH: Still counts as monogamous if we're adjacent!
EB: You being two floors directly above us is adjacent enough, thank you very much.
MH: Hey, as I recall, you owe me five minutes of talking about how awesome sex is.
EB: And I will begin as soon as you head up. You may imagine I'm narrating your actions, if you like.
MH (leaving): I'm going to imagine you narrating for three of the five minutes before Jamie overrides you.
EB: I shall assume you mean he overwhelms me via his heretofore undiscovered sexual prowess and not, as the trend would indicate, by inadvertently chokeslamming me. JH: If it's only a vocal track, would that count as Answering Machine Bitch rule thirty-four?