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I spend a lot of time on Twitter. I mean, I spend a loooot of time on Twitter, which is surprising to anyone who notices that I only actually follow two people.

I use Twitter all wrong.

I read a lot of Weird Twitter. Weird Twitter is a loose society of comedians and performance artists, ranging from the saccharine to the formulaic to the inspired to the deranged. They have their own weird culture, characterized by in-jokes and insecurity and in-breeding and irony (their definition of which would make Alanis look like the Oxford Unabridged).

And, of course, I'm aware that saying "I'm really into Weird Twitter" is kind of like saying "I'm really into Rastafarianism" or "I just joined this neat Fight Club". There's nothing Weird Tweeters hate more than any attempt to define and delineate their subculture as a subculture.

Anyway, one of the most enduring and repeating joke formats in Weird Twitter is the "what idiot" tweet. I believe the first one - at least, the most influential one - is @nice_mustard's "what idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles", which isn't even really a pun. Well, screw it, I'm repurposing the joke format as a party game. Or, at least, a "waiting for Nicole" game. Been a while since I've given you guys a game to play.

(Wednesday afternoon, INT: mall food court)

EB: Hrm. Nicole's late.
GU: Yeah, you'd think if she asks us to meet her here at a specific time, in the mall where she works, that she could get here at that time.
MH: Wanna play "What Idiot"?
GU: that where I say "what" and you call me an idiot?
MH: What? No! No, it's a pun game. You like puns, right?
GU: No, not really.
MH: You like puns. Everyone likes puns.
GU: No one likes puns.
MH: Here, I'll give you an easy one, this is a song title, okay? A classic song.
MH: What idiot called it "disciplining my rebellious child by making him balance Stephen King's first novel on his head" and not....?
GU: ... "Carrie on my wayward son"?
MH: See, I told you you like puns!
GU: That was not me liking that pun!