First Comic Previous Comic Random Comic Next Comic Current Comic
First Comic Previous Comic Random Comic Next Comic Current Comic

Y'know, say what you will about participation trophies and calling every kid special - sometimes they might help. In any event, they're probably warranted in any activity that the child had no real choice about whether or not to enter (which, honestly, should probably include everything they do before the age of about ten).

(Thursday evening, INT: bowling alley.)

GU: I would have thought that being in beauty pageants as a kid would make you feel more beautiful, not less.
LH: You assume I ever won anything.
GU: Wait, you mean you never-
LH: Thirteen damn years and I never got anything. Not. One. Thing.
LH: Y'know, I did the odds once - if the judges' decisions were random, that'd be more than a million to one. That's what I meant when I said "certified unattractive". I have been professionally evaluated.
GU: Well, that was so long ago, though-
LH: Right, because we all know how weight gain, acne scarring, and age make us hotter.
LH: The only thing that changed when I hit thirteen was that I grew tits, and that didn't make me attractive, it just made me a target.
LH: ...and, apparently, they also make it harder for me to roll a ten pound ball in a straight line.
GU: Again, I had no idea that I'd be good at this and I'm sorry.