Leftover Soup




	I think if I was ever going to teach a basic sex ed class, this is more or less how I'd start it off. I'd then work my way up the chain, introducing gender dimorphism with the vertebrates, then live birth and child-rearing with the mammals, then basic family units and flexible monogamy with the hominids, and so on until we hit present day. I'd probably then start talking psychology, about religion and misogyny and the Maddona/whore complex and fetishes and such, only then moving on to the practical mechanics and the STI prevention and so on. It's probably for the best that I'm not any sort of teacher. And yes, that guy in the background is still Seth Triggs, writer of Buddies In Big Places. He's really good with architecture and tech stuff, and his commissions are surprisingly cheap (though not as cheap as mine).

0453------------------------------------- (Sunday morning, INT: Gym lounge area) EB: Look, we're gonna go back, way back. Amoebas. Everyone's reproducing by splitting, cloning themselves. They're having the clone wars, they're zerg rushing each other, whoever makes the most identical copies of himself the fastest wins. -------------- EB: And one of these little assholes, he says to himself "Hey, you know what? I'm going to make this reproduction thing a challenge! I'm going to set it up so that I have to go find another member of my species, and exchange genetic code with them, and only then can I make copies, and they'll be copies that are randomized and only contain half my genes!" -------------- EB: Two billion years later, that amoeba is your great granddaddy, and everyone else is still back in the soup. Why? What's the advantage? EM: Um... to ensure genetic diversity of the- EB: Sexual selection. You seek out success, a pattern that works, and you staple your pattern onto that pattern in the hopes that that little bit of you can work with that success in the next generation. -------------- EM: So you're saying I can't get laid because I have a shitty job? EB: Don't be stupid, guys with shitty jobs get laid all the time. I'm saying you can't get laid because I never asked you about your job.